cant sleep

its 6am and im sitting here listening to thesong disconnect by after midnight project. ironic seeing as whats going on at the moment i guess.

shocking things happened yesterday things i wasnt expecting, which i guess is normal for you....you shock me alot....maybe thats one of the reasons i fell so hard...you seem so far away even if you say something like that. you tell me things to get my hopes up, i know you dont mean to but you do, then you find someone else...and it hurts. i know i should probably just get over it. it sucks falling for your best friend. ive watched as you were hurt countless times. i talked to you. i listened to you rant. it was a total fluke me and you even met. if it wasnt for her, i am positive we wouldnt have met. if she didnt ask me to IM you and yell at you that day, and if you werent so friggen nice i dont know if we would be friends. i would like to think we would have met some other way but knowing my luck probably not. ha. i dont even know why im writing this its not like you will see it.

Jess is getting picked up by her bf brandon tomorrow, shes staying with him in brownstown till sunday for prom. she seems excited....thinking back...i never wanted to go to prom. i didnt get the chance since i dropped out my sophmore year and got my GED a year later. i do not regret dropping out. its the best thing i ever did. but, i guess every girl dreams about the prom once in there life, right? meh. oh well. hopefully something good will happen in my life to make up for it.

everything is going wrong lately....some of my friends think im avoiding them.....its just been really stressful lately. i havent told but one person whats been going on lately....i dont wanna tell anyone else to be honest. i hate pouring out my woe-is-me crap it sucks. i hate it. i dont mind when others talk to me about there problems its just i have an issue with talking about mine....bleh.

not like anyone is reading this anyways.

"Maybe we’re not as well put together as we thought
Oh well
I’m dancing in the pouring rain with a smile and a touch of pain
it’s Hell"